The 10 Laws of Successful Time Management
Hey guys, so here’s the summary for the latest book I listened to – ‘The Ten Laws of Successful Time Management.’ It was actually a lot more than I had expected – where Man’s Search for Meaning gave me really strong, grounded ‘why’s,’ this book built upon that by explaining how to funnel your ‘why’ into daily action. Really great book and I’m still working on implementing what I’ve learned from it, I think it will make a huge impact on how effective I am in life – day-to-day and longer-term. It’s broken into two parts; the first part is more practical while the second is more about understanding your motivations for doing things. It’s fairly involved/esoteric, it may be a bit much to take in without more context.
Part 1
Law 1 – Control your life by controlling your time.
Action in life is event control. There are 3 types of situation in life over which we have varying degrees of control – no control, partial control and total control. We should learn to identify which is which. The only thing we have total control over is ourselves and our actions.
There are things we can’t control we believe we can – worrying and putting time into how to deal with a boss, spouse etc. beyond what we can realistically do.
There are things we can control, which we think we cannot – for example, being stuck in a shitty job.
This is an important idea – the image of a triangle, with all options feeding into each other. Productivity, Event Control, and Self-Esteem are all linked. Each builds up the others. Event control -controlling your daily actions is the easiest to manipulate and will have a flow-on positive effect on the other two.
We will not have more time at some undetermined point in the future.
An important idea: If you call me up and ask if I want to have dinner with you, and I say I don’t have time, that isn’t true. It means that I value some other activity more than having dinner with you. Event management is the practice of properly valuing events.
Time is precious, can’t be bought, stealing our time should invoke the same response as stealing our money.
Two ‘Time Robbers’:
· Imposed by environment where we work – interruptions etc.
· Poor attitude, personal disorganisation.
He then goes into a bunch of techniques for dealing with interruptions, much of this is geared towards the office environment, and attitude – procrastination etc. I won’t get into that stuff in this summary.
Another very important point – the distinction between Urgent and Vital events. Urgent events come from nowhere, demand immediate attention. But are they vital?
Vital – he says that the average father spends 7 minutes in one-on-one time with each child per week, and 27 minutes with his partner. Obviously these are vital areas to focus on, but they get pushed aside for urgent matters. We need to change that. We need to infuse the Vital events with urgency. We need to integrate our deepest values into daily life.
Law 2 – Governing Values are the Foundation of Personal Fulfillment
In this chapter he discusses how to define our personal values. The fundamental beliefs we have, the building blocks of who we are, the principles we would risk our lives for.
Can find information online on how to define values, he suggests doing them like a constitution – 13 or so virtues. Imagine yourself as you want to be, like an architect imagining the finished building, write as affirmations – ‘I am…’
Law 3 – When Our Daily Activities Reflect Governing Values We Experience Inner Peace
He explains our use of time as a pyramid, with pieces from top to bottom being: Daily Tasks, Intermediate Goals, Long-Range Goals and Governing Values.
There must be consistency between these things, built from the bottom up, if not, the Vital will be ignored because they are not urgent. Our focus grows sharper as we move up the pyramid.
We need to rank our Governing Values – we are going to run out of time, so we need to decide which values we absolutely must attend to.
This way we can deal with events in a more logical manner. Rather than making a snap decision, doing what is easy or pleasurable and then rationalising, we have a base of values and principles from which to decide how to respond to an event.
Law 4 – To Reach Any Significant Goal You Must Leave Your Comfort Zone
A goal is planned conflict with the status quo.
No goal = no failure, but it also means no success. So failure is not bad. It’s a step on the path to success.
We should work our way up the pyramid – find our values, find long term goals, intermediate goals, and then daily tasks. So for example if one of our Governing Values is Financial Independence, then we should have a long-term savings goal for retirement. Intermediate goals could be 35 tasks that need to be completed to achieve that goal – study how to manage your finances, get life insurance, start an investment portfolio etc. Then we can add these different tasks into our daily task list.
Values tell us why. Long range explains what we want to accomplish. Intermediate and daily show us how to achieve it.
He says to use SMART goals of course, can look them up online if not familiar.
So go through your values, break down what you need to do with them. If you feel guilty about an area, start there.
3 Obstacles when leaving comfort zones:
The invisible committee – friends, family, peers, superiors etc. We take on their values without thinking, can hold you back. Live by your values, not others.
Walls – Circumstance, past mistakes, perceived limitations. Changing course with these blocks in our mind can be traumatic, the longer we have been in pattern, the higher the walls are. It can be easier to hide our goals; pretend they don’t exist rather than muster the courage to break down the wall.
Fear of Change – Change for the better, or temporarily for the worse. Failure is not the end of the world. Failure can be a positive force, means we can succeed in the future.
Key to beating all of these obstacles is determination – sticking to values despite discomfort, to not slip back into old habits.
Law 5 – Daily Planning Leverages Time Through Increased Focus
Think about your last 10 days – how many minutes in that time have you spent on formal planning?
He suggests spending 10-15 minutes every morning planning your day. I have put this into my routine and it is amazing what a big effect on effectiveness such a small change can make.
Suggests clearly defined tasks with deadlines.
Says that you should stop what you are doing now and write down on a piece of paper a commitment to plan your day every morning.
He says everyone has 3 magic hours in the day, when we are uninterrupted, beyond the usual urgencies of the day, and to schedule 15 minutes of planning in this time.
Find a place free of distractions. Review long-range objectives. What tasks can I do that will bring me closer to my goal? Every day a step towards our dreams. Make sure the number of tasks and time required is realistic. Don’t over plan and feel defeated before or after you start. Put in usual stuff, add 50% time for surprises, then plan for extra stuff you might be able to get to. Anticipate obstacles to completing tasks, try to foresee. Prioritise tasks, start with the most important.
He calls this laser thinking – focus our time and energy on daily activities through the lens of values and goals.
Write a to-do list. Crossing off items creates endorphins. He calls it a prioritised daily task list.
Make a list of everything you want to do. Let everything surface. Give a value to each item – A = vital, must be done. B = Important, should be done. C = Trivial, could be done after A and B. Give a number to each item in the list, so A1, A2, B1, B2 etc.
Accomplish the most important in that moment; put all other tasks out of your mind.
He talks about the Franklin daily planner, which might be a bit out-dated these days, but is engineered to be used with these principles. I’m working on my own system in a spreadsheet.
One thing he mentions is a Master Tasks List – on this list you put all things you want to get done at some point. Not vital, but cleaning the garage or whatever. Write them all down, so that when you have spare time you can check this list and plug one of them in.
It is important to keep your commitments. Character is the ability to carry out decisions after the emotion of the decision has passed. Discipline is carrying on even when the going gets tough. Develop good habits, become consistent, stick with them for 21 days. The best medicine for stress is feeling in control. Remember the triangle – Control Events, be more Productive, have better Self-Esteem. All feed into each other.
Part 2 – Managing Your Life
Law 6 – Your Behaviour is a Reflection of What You Truly Believe
He introduces the concept of the reality model, made up of the needs wheel, and the belief window.
The needs wheel is the same as what I talked about as herding sheep last week, or born to be qualities.
Our basic psychological needs are the need to live, to love and be loved, to feel important, and to experience variety.
When all these needs are being met life goes smoothly. The needs wheel has no direction, it takes us nowhere in life, just needs to be maintained.
The second element to the Reality Model is the belief window. The idea here is that we view the world and life through a window of our beliefs. These beliefs effect how we meet our needs. We believe all our beliefs to be true, and will act as if they are. We make ‘If, Then’ rules based on our beliefs. I believe pit-bulls are dangerous – If I see a pit-bull, then I will avoid it. We maintain our belief based on results and feedback from our actions. How do we know if our needs are being met? The test of time. If we go through years of not being bitten by pit-bulls then this belief is fine. Say we have a belief that results in a fear of heights – it may keep us safe to stay on the ground, but the belief is not rational, and if it conflicts with other needs in our life, say the need to be loved because some sexy bitch is living on the second floor, then we will need to re-examine our belief, and see if we can modify it, or if another belief takes precedence over it.
We can evaluate beliefs before they effect our behaviour, can search for superior beliefs by considering if changed behaviour would result in better results.
The Reality Model gives us a picture of what is going on in life and helps us understand why. It allows us to look at the results of our behaviour and see if it is serving our interests. From thinking about this I was able to stop myself getting frustrated about things by analysing if my anger would fulfil a need in the best way or if it was based off a flawed belief.
Law 7 – We Satisfy Needs When Our Beliefs Are In Line With Reality
The growth process is the process of improving our beliefs. A willingness to do so shows maturity.
5 Steps for gaining control of our life:
Cognitive dissonance. We cannot hold two conflicting viewpoints. We must choose the more logical.
1. Identify behaviour pattern not producing desired results.
2. Identify possible beliefs driving the behaviour.
3. Predict future behaviour based on following those beliefs.
4. Identify alternative beliefs that may produce better results.
5. Predict future behaviour based on the new beliefs.
When dealing with other people behaviour can be a better indicator of beliefs than words. It can help to predict future behaviour.
A spouse or friend may be able to help you identify your beliefs.
Talking about beliefs may help create desire within other people to change – use the ‘I message.’
I have a problem.
Non-threatening description from your viewpoint.
Say how this makes you feel.
Let the realities of the situation help things change. If you continue doing this knowing how I will feel, will it make our relationship better or worse? Do you want our relationship to be better or worse.
This separates the behaviour from the person. Our behaviour is not us, we may be acting on incorrect beliefs.
Law 8 – Negative Behaviours Are Overcome By Changing Negative Beliefs
Any negative behaviour shows a lack of control, and is a symptom of a reactive way of life. Often this is because we are trying to meet a need with an incorrect belief. Because the belief is not rooted in reality we cannot satisfy the need. As we try harder to satisfy the need with a negative belief we can get caught in a downward spiral – have a belief that a drug makes me feel good, only it has gone past that point and it no longer does make me happy, but I pursue happiness ineffectually due to an incorrect belief.
How to overcome a negative behaviour in our and others’ lives:
Recognise we have a problem.
Recognise we have an unmet need. We can then identify the incorrect beliefs we think are satisfying that need, at least in the short term. (Drugs = variety? Etc.)
If a person is committed to change this should change automatically when a new belief is swapped in. We can attack the belief without attacking the person, put the responsibility for changing behaviour on the person.
We are responsible for what we’ve written on the belief window and what we let stay on it.
Law 9 – Self-Esteem Must Ultimately Come from Within
When we seek validation externally we behave according to other people’s beliefs and needs rather than our own. Sometimes we are just guessing what their needs are. This is reactive and stressful. Can be seen in peer/societal pressure.
When we accept people’s slander of ourselves that we are inferior, we give them a degree of control over ourselves and our self-worth suffers.
We don’t have to accept the judgements of others. It doesn’t impact me unless I accept their beliefs.
He says to take a piece of paper, put a circle with your name in it, and then around it put other circles with your roles in life – father, employee, spouse, friend etc. Give yourself a number of how you think you are doing as a person overall and in each role.
The point is if you gave yourself a score less than 10 in the inner circle, you do not have the capacity to be a 10 in the outer circles. We all have the potential to be a 10 on the inner circle.
We have the potential to be the greatest human being we can. We will never be perfect, but the point is to narrow the distance between where we are and where we should be.
Find what you really want – what has worked for you in the past – specifics – people, actions, circumstances etc. You may want to try to recreate some of these.
If we look beyond passion, greed, lust etc. there are 3 major emotions – fear, duty, love. These are motivators in life. The lowest motivation is fear – I have to do this. This feels terrible. It is an external source of motivation. Duty – I should do this. Obligation, not because you want to do it. It is better than fear, but still external. You owe people. Love – I do it for myself. I revel in it.
Law 10 – Give More and You’ll Have More
Abundance mentality. If we share everyone can win.
Excess wealth is stewardship to be used to help others. Can apply to any aspect we have abundance. Knowledge etc.
Everything must line up with moral truth – values, event control, reality model to understand how beliefs help and hinder journey to inner peace.
End of each day or at the beginning measure your results. Was my behaviour in line with guiding values? Did I do what really mattered to me today? Start cycle every day. Take control by implementing what you’ve learned. Edit your belief window. Create new and better beliefs. Then do something about it. Set goals. Further them on a daily basis through action.
Man’s Search for Meaning Summary
The Meaning of Life
The meaning of life is not an answer, but how we answer the questions that are asked of us by life.
We should answer these questions with good actions.
Each person’s meaning is unique – asking another person for the meaning of life is like asking an expert chess player what the best chess move is. It depends on the situation.
Events in life can be seen as individual frames in a film. How we act in each of these frames connects to all the other frames, and so by each individual action we direct our life in a certain direction, and by the end of our life we will be able to look back at the film of our life and see the greater meaning of our life.
One way to decide the best action is to imagine you have lived your life once before, made the worst choice in every instance, and try to do better with this life.
Suffering
Suffering can cease to be suffering if we give it meaning. He gives the example of a retired doctor who is bereft at the loss of his wife two years earlier. By giving meaning to his suffering via the revelation that he suffers so that his wife does not, the suffering becomes more bearable.
We should not suffer unnecessarily though – suffering that can be removed should be.
Fate
When we have no control over external circumstances, all we can do is control our attitude.
When we are unable to change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
How to Live
What matters is to make the best of any situation. Optimism in the face of tragedy:
Turn suffering into achievement and accomplishment. (We should be proud of our suffering rather than ashamed.)
Derive from guilt the opportunity to change oneself for the better.
Derive from death an incentive to take responsible action.
Three ways to derive meaning in life:
Create a work, doing a deed.
Experiencing something, encountering someone – life and love.
Most importantly man must rise above himself, to be proud of his suffering, to consider it ennobling rather than degrading. No point being unhappy and also ashamed of being unhappy.
If we are too free, without any control, then we become a pawn of fate.
Mortality
There is value in meaning, and dignity, as well as in usefulness, but today’s society focuses on usefulness. (Age vs Youth).
Young have potential and possibility, old have bank of experiences and suffering. Both are valuable and a gift.
A pessimist sees the thickness of the calendar decrease every day, while an optimist neatly stacks the past pages and appreciates them.
Paradoxical Treatment
If you have a neurotic or mentally-linked problem such as nervous sweating or mental-linked sexual dysfunction state your intent to do the opposite of what you want with a sense of humour. ‘I’m going to be king of flaccid cocks and nothing will arouse me.’ This detaches you from the problem, especially humour.
A sleep problem could be having a hyper-intension of wanting to sleep, arising from anticipation of not being able to do so. Challenge self to stay awake harder than a meth head on heat or something, trick your brain.
Finally
Our challenge is to be in the good minority that responds to hardship with good action.
My own thought from Frankl mentioning that people in the camps that gave up weren’t bothered by anything:
Being annoyed is the first step towards resolving a problem – if you weren’t annoyed you wouldn’t care, and would just walk away from the problem. Annoyance = investment and dissatisfaction with a problem.
Run and Stumble 